In the wake of President Obama issuing guidance to federal departments last month on the wrong and right ways to write government documents, it is helpful to remember that President Truman ordered the Federal Register be written in “layman’s terms” over 40 years ago and President Clinton wrote a memo 13 years ago entitled, “Plain Language in Government Writing.

Should we be surprised that municipal laws here in Newburyport are filled with as much gobbledygook as in Washington, D.C.?

You only need to peruse through our city ordinances to recognize that the language is indeed English but written in a convoluted way.

Comparing the ugly truth of today to federal plain language recommendations, here are six off-the-cuff examples of laws I’d rewrite:

Section 2-355

UGLY: The police officers in the police department shall have such powers and perform such duties enacted in reference to such office by the laws of this commonwealth. They shall pass from time to time through the streets of the city with a view to remove by prosecution or otherwise, all nuisances, obstructions or impediments therein, and shall perform such other police duties as the mayor and city council shall from time to time determine.

PLAIN: Police officers are responsible for enforcing the law, and performing other duties as determined by the mayor and city council.

Section 3-26(a)

UGLY: No person shall own or keep in the city, outside the confines of the owner’s or keeper’s property, any dog which is not held firmly on a leash.

PLAIN: You may not own or keep an unleashed dog.

Section 6-6

UGLY: The director of civil defense may, within the limits of the amount appropriated therefor, appoint such experts, clerks and other assistants as the work of the civil defense department may require, and he may remove them.

PLAIN: The director of civil defense may hire and fire staff, within the limits of the department budget.

Section 10-8

UGLY: No person shall use or consume any alcoholic beverages as defined in M.G.L.A. c. 138, § 1, while in or upon any public way or any way in which the public has a right of access or any place to which the members of the public have access of invitees or licensees, park or playground, or private land, building, structure or place without the consent of the owner or person in control thereof provided however this section shall not apply in the event the city council has approved an application pursuant to section 12-1 for outdoor seating including an area demarcated by the placement of unfixed barricades and the local license commission has approved the consumption of alcohol for said area. All alcoholic beverages being used in violation of this section shall be seized and safely held until final adjudication against the person cited or summoned before the court, at which time they shall be returned to the person entitled to lawful possession. Each such offense shall be punishable by a fine of fifty dollars ($50.00).

PLAIN: You may not drink alcohol on public property. You may only drink alcohol on private property with permission from the owner or the owner’s designee. Alcoholic drinking is allowed outdoors but only in places pursuant to section 12-1 and with permission of the city council and license commission. You will be fined fifty dollars ($50.00) for violating the law, and you may be arrested.

Section 12-51

UGLY: All establishments, institutions and residents shall be responsible for policing of refuse, including snow and ice removal, from sidewalks of their designated establishments daily.

PLAIN: You are responsible to clear your portion of the sidewalk and remove all trash, snow, and ice.

Section 13-196

UGLY: It shall be unlawful for any person to stand in a roadway for the purpose of soliciting a ride from the operator of any motor vehicle.

PLAIN: You may not hitchhike.

I am as guilty as anyone else for drafting and amending laws in this fashion, but what choice do I have to maintain order without rewriting everything?

My friend Steve Radick argues the Plain Writing Act of 2010 will take decades to implement. It’s unfortunate that he’s probably right. What government entity has the financial and grammatical resources to rewrite history?

Thoughts?

 

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